What is True Christian Friendship? Part 1

3 Types of Christian Friendships: 

Mentor relationship based on ministry, similar to the kind Jesus had with his disciples; teach, counsel, or disciple other Christian friends Mentee the one receiving ministry, the one being taught, counseled, or discipled to Mutual Friendship a friendship that progress over time through wisdom and spiritual maturity, growing together in faith, goodness, knowledge, and other godly graces (Galatians 5:22-23, Ephesians 5:9).

5 Traits of True Christian Friends

1. Christian friends LOVE SACRIFICIALLY.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Jesus is the highest example of a true Christian friend. His love for us is sacrificial, unselfish and considerate. He demonstrated His love for His disciples through the humble service of washing their feet. He demonstrated His love to all those who would repent and believe in Him through His death on the cross.

Philippians 2:3-4 teaches us what kind of friend we should be:

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

When you treat people that way you will be a good friend.

2. Christian friends ACCEPT UNCONDITIONALLY.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

We discover the best of friendships with others who know and accept our weaknesses and imperfections. If we’re easily offended or hold on to bitterness we’ll have a hard time making friends. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. If we take a truthful look at ourselves, we’ll admit that we bear some of the blame when things go wrong in a friendship. A good friend is quick to ask forgiveness and ready to be forgiving.

3. Christian friends TRUST COMPLETELY.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

This proverb reveals that a true Christian friend is trustworthy. Yet it emphasizes a second important truth as well. And that truth is that we should only expect to share complete trust with a few loyal friends.Trusting too easily can lead to ruin, so be careful about putting your confidence in a mere companion. Over time our true Christian friends will prove their trustworthiness by sticking closer than a brother or sister.

4. Christian friends keep HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

If a friend consumes all your time, something is wrong in that relationship. Likewise, if you feel used or abused, this should trigger an alarm. Recognizing what’s best for someone and giving that person space are signs of a healthy relationship. A true Christian friend will wisely avoid intruding and recognize your need to maintain other relationships.

5. Christian friends give MUTUAL EDIFICATION.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend… Proverbs 27:6

True Christian friends will build each other up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Friends like to be together simply because it feels good. We receive strength, encouragement, and love. We should be able to talk, to cry, and to listen without concern or fear. But at times we also have to say the difficult things our dearest friend needs to hear. Yet, because of the shared trust and acceptance, we are the one person who can impact our friend’s heart, for we know how to deliver the hard message with truth and grace. I believe this is what Proverbs 27:17 means when it says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Adapted from Mary Fairchild, Five Traits of Christian Friends